Biggest Noob Contest!!!!!!

Gedron

Gedron

Master
Hello everyone! In light of the new expansion and my desire to promote new players, I have decided to have a contest. What is this contest, you ask? Well! Quite simply put, new players will write a short essay as to why they are the “Biggest Noob” and why they deserve to earn this title. Winning posts will be funny, original, and hit us all in the UO feels. Posts should be relative to THIS SHARD, please do not include tales of your 99’ escapades on Baja (save those for another time!). We want to hear about the time you sold that taming scroll to a guy for 10k because he said it was worthless, the time you thought Gm swords meant you could easily take down that Ancient Shadow Wyrm Paragon, or a time you just really got UO’d hard. Be creative! Be Funny! Be a noob!


Rules and participation:

Contest will run from this moment until Friday 01/17/2014 at 18 00 EST

Winners will be announced the following day

Contestant accounts must be no more than 30 days old

A screenshot of your account age must be provided before receiving prize if you are selected

Essays shall be limited to 3 paragraphs or less

Essays must be clean! Excessive profanity, racism, or generally uncouth posts will be excluded

Other forum members are encouraged to “like” their favorite posts as number of likes will be considered in the selection process

Prizes will go to one grand prize winner and two runner-ups


***PRIZES***

Grand Prize Winner will receive:

10 sets of GM barbed armor

10 sets of GM dex armor

10 GM melee weapons of winners choice

Full Spellbook

Runebook including towns and several “points of interest”

1000 of each reagent

1000 bandages

Check for 25k


2nd and 3rd place winners will receive:

3 sets of GM barbed armor

3 sets of GM dex armor

5 GM weapons of winners choice

Blank runebook

200 of each reagent

250 bandages

Check for 10k




Good luck!!!!
 
Gedron

Gedron

Master
besttherewas said:
I vote for any companion.

Sometimes I feel as if the young players are teaching them.
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I'm with stupid

I'm with stupid

Neophyte
I joined this shard after not playing UO for years, and have been here a little over two weeks now. Cool contest. Anyway, onto the story of my first day:

I was out at the Brit graveyard trying to get back into the swing of things, and was feeling pretty good about my zombie killing abilities, so I graduated myself with flying colors and decided to go check out the brigand fort past the crossroads for a bit more of a challenge. On the way there I ran into a gargoyle near the mountain pass and BARELY managed to kill it. It dropped a statuette, and I thought "huh, that's kind of cool" but didn't give it a second thought.

I continued my journey and eventually found the camp and started killing things. Two dudes were in a house right next to the the fort, and were OBVIOUSLY trying to bait me in to attacking them. One was gray, and they'd come out in half armor, half dead, pretending to hide from one of the brigands because it was clearly so hard to kill. I ran out of things to kill, so I went outside the camp itself to kill the one by their house. I was careful not to touch their front step, but after killing it on the way back I ran into something invisible in the one tile pass. Instead of being smart and going around, I stepped on their doorstep like a moron, and one attacked. The other was a blue healer, of course. So, here I am, with like 60 macing, up against a 2v1 on my first day, with no macros set up -- nothing. I ran.

The epic chase that ensued ended 15 minutes later back at the Britain graveyard with me FINALLY unflagging to them. I had passed the bank 3 or 4 times in the chase, and never once thought to bank the stupid gargoyle statue. I was so jacked on adrenaline (and NO game does that for me anymore) I couldn't think straight. I ended up selling the statue for 80k which funded a lot of my skills, so it all worked out, but man this game turns you into an idiot sometimes.

Edit - attached proof of account age.
 
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Thryn

Thryn

Adept
Leave it to all the forum warriors to come crap up a great idea for a contest with constant harassing each other. It's sad that there's 10 replies and only one legitimate story.

To contribute, let me know who 4th place would be and I'll put together a prize package for them.
 
J

jdcalve

Master
Thryn said:
Leave it to all the forum warriors to come crap up a great idea for a contest with constant harassing each other. It's sad that there's 10 replies and only one legitimate story.

To contribute, let me know who 4th place would be and I'll put together a prize package for them.
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Crap up a great thread?

We're nominating newbs and hoping they'll come in to share their stories.

I think it's a great idea.
 
Garet Jax

Garet Jax

Grandmaster
I nominate myself, and even tho my account is one year old I still should qualify, even without a thought out story :)
 
Xombie86

Xombie86

Master
Not to toot my own horn but I am probably the biggest noob here - is that something to really be proud of? We can all review my previous forum posts such as: "My Name is Xombie and I have a gambling addiction" where I spend ALL my gold early in my account lifetime in hopes to hit it big only to consistently lose 10k every time I earn it from using my bard in the dungeon north of Britain (which I am constantly slaughtered by the reds that come to visit me). I am currently probably about 250k invested into slots. With no true big win.

Another instance is my various complaints about letting co-owners access locked down keys to house doors. I thought locking down a key on your front porch was just brilliant after seeing it on random houses throughout the world. But when I was informed by many users of the forum you just have to secure the door for co-owners. No keys required! Also with being a home owner - I had my concerns with being pk'ed in the safety of my own home. I am still dumbfounded by how someone kills somebody in their house.

The only true satisfaction I got with my noob skills is killing a red who was AFK macroing on the edge of town - felt so good with my 95 mage using my sequence of spells I have observed being used on me: paralyze, poison, flamestrike, energy bolt x2. When he realized he was dead he was following me around probably screaming profanities but I don't know how to speak to ghosts... :)
 
Gedron

Gedron

Master
Thryn said:
Leave it to all the forum warriors to come crap up a great idea for a contest with constant harassing each other. It's sad that there's 10 replies and only one legitimate story.

To contribute, let me know who 4th place would be and I'll put together a prize package for them.
Click to expand...

Yeah I sort of saw this one coming. At least we will have a winner by default if no one else responds lol
 
Xombie86

Xombie86

Master
I'm not about to harrass someone else or call them a noob. I like to help people in this game as much as I know how to help but do got my fingers crossed for noobiest status.

Sent from my C5155 using Tapatalk
 
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